How much money is enough money?
Abundance is an inside job.
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I freelanced for the first time in early 2017, from January through April. I was so burned out that I quit my viral media job without a new job lined up. I’d been doing a bit of freelance writing on the side of my full-time job for years so I figured I could just ramp up the volume of that work. Easy, right?
Well, as anyone who’s run a business knows, it was not easy. In January 2017, I made $5,000 before taxes. In February, I made $3,500. In March, I barely hit $4,000. It didn’t feel like enough. I was 26, living with my new husband in an expensive city, and providing all of our income as he finished up nursing school. In March, I started to panic. I applied for full-time jobs again. By mid-April, I landed a job working as an editor at a major media company. I was relieved, but also mad at myself.
I loved the freedom of freelancing. I remember working from coffee shops, going on mid-day runs, and feeling blissfully free. But every time I looked at my bank account, I felt completely nauseated. I was full of panic. I wanted this whole thing to work, but it wasn’t working. I couldn’t see how to make it work long-term.
It’s been seven years since that first trial run and I make a lot more money these days. But here’s the honest truth: I still sometimes feel that same panic when I look at my finances. Somehow, it still doesn’t feel like enough. I know that this is true for many of my high-achieving clients, too: We set financial goals, then arrive at those goals and feel frustrated. It’s not enough. It’s never enough!
“Enough” is defined as a quantity that satisfies. It means “full” and “sufficient.” It’s a measurement that most of us use to explain how close we are to satisfaction.
Scarcity, on the other hand, means being in short supply. It’s the opposite of “enough;” it’s the belief that there will never be enough, that supply is so limited that having enough is impossible. Many of us are trained at an early age to associate money with lack: If your parents grew up during a recession, if you graduated during an economic downturn (hi!), if you experienced any kind of poverty as a child — or if your parents experienced poverty during their childhoods — scarcity is bone-deep.
Scarcity is woven into our capitalist society, too. Capitalism purposefully creates artificial scarcity. To maximize earnings, capitalists reduce the supply; when there’s less supply (scarcity), there’s more demand. And more demand = more money.
What I’m saying is that scarcity is in the air we breath.
But there’s also this: Scarcity is, most often, a lie. Look around you and notice the abundance: The trees, the food, the homes, the people, the music, the weather, the air. Nature is, at its very root, abundant. Yes, we have a huge problem when it comes to the distribution of these resources. But that doesn’t change the fact that if you look at our world, big picture, there is often, innately enough.
Still, you’ll have to train your brain to notice this abundance. If you hop on Twitter, you’ll read about people getting laid off (seemingly over and over again). You’ll read about how GPT is going to ruin us all. You’ll see mention after mention of scarcity. And it trickles down into the way we view our money and our work: It feels like nothing will ever be enough. How depressing. How traumatizing. How absolutely, existentially miserable.
Scarcity puts our bodies into fight or flight, into panic mode. It makes it hard to get things done. In other words, the more we lean into scarcity, the more scarce our actions, energy reserves and creativity become. The more we buy into the idea that there’s not enough, the more our lives start to reflect that belief. We shrink ourselves, physically and emotionally. We shut up. We quiet down. We get skinny. We get busy. We make ourselves soooooooo productive that we melt into the very fabric of capitalist society.
I want to offer another option: Buying into what you have now as already enough. How? It starts with asking yourself these questions:
What is already abundant in my life?
What proof do I have that work can be abundant?
What proof is there, in my life, that money can be abundant?
What am I already satisfied with in my life?
What proof is there that I am already enough?
When people come to my coaching room, they often need to figure out what “enough” looks like each month, in terms of income and work quantity. This number is important to figure out because it helps you understand what you’re moving toward on a daily basis. But what I’ve noticed is that this “enough” number — the one that you need to survive — still doesn’t feel like “enough” for most people. Think about this:
What would “enough” feel like to you?
What would make you feel satisfied?
Here’s my answer: If I had enough money, I’d be able to work on my own terms, slow down, and renovate my house. If I had enough money, I could spend more time coaching and less time writing. If I had enough money, I could write a book. I would hike weekly and exercise daily.
What I just wrote is ridiculous because I could do all of those things right now; mostly, they don’t depend on me making more money. In fact, I am doing a lot of this right now. But I haven’t touched some of those desires because I’m scared that I won’t be able to handle the consequences if it doesn’t go well. This was true in 2017, too: I stopped freelancing not just because the money wasn’t enough, but because I didn’t believe I had the capacity or support to figure out how to keep going.
“Enough” isn’t about the numbers for most of us, which is why we still feel like we’re chasing an illusive goal even when we hit our financial goals. Enough actually starts with whether or not we feel like we’re inherently good enough. It starts with how worthy we think we are. It starts with our willingness to take risks, and our belief that we can handle the consequences.
$5,000 won’t feel like enough and $10,000 won’t feel like enough and $20,000 won’t feel like enough and $100,000 won’t feel like enough if you don’t feel like you, personally, are enough. So yes, write down your monthly numbers. Yes, set financial goals related to what you need this year. But remember this, too: “Enough” is an inside job.
What is it about you that’s already enough?
What about you is already sufficient and full?
Start there.
Sending love,
Jenni
Curious about my background? I’m a writer and business coach based in Central Oregon. I have two small children and I work part-time so I can spend a lot of time with them. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with non-linear business building and teaching people how to build successful businesses that support their human needs first. Check out my coaching offerings here and follow me on Twitter & Instagram!
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Loved this reframe. Thank you.