Medicine for the in-between

How to get through threshold moments

Mindset Mastery is a weekly newsletter about the psychology of self-employment from Jenni Gritters. If you’d like to support my work, please become a paid subscriber for $5/ month!

Hey, I have a recommendation for you: If you like Mindset Mastery, I think you’ll like Nick Lafferty’s Early Exit Club newsletter. It’s a beautiful, transparent look into the life of a freelancer. He writes about growing his business and publishes his finances every month, along with tips to help other freelancers succeed. He also covers the highs and lows and in-betweens experienced along the way. 

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Hey team,

Today’s newsletter is a quicker but important one, all about working in the in-between.

Often, in life and in business, we find ourselves at thresholds between what is comfortable and what is uncomfortable. In fact, this is probably one of the most normal parts of running a business; things are constantly changing and in order to stay relevant, we often need to adapt. When we adapt, we’re usually faced with something new — which can be incredibly uncomfortable.

In my business, I’ve had many threshold moments over the past few years. Currently, I’m at a point where I know I need to shift the balance between the coaching and writing services I offer. Writing has always been my easy fall-back; I know how to generate a lot of income from that work, and I’m a quick writer. But if I’m honest, that kind of work isn’t my long-game. I often struggle with the lack of direct impact that comes along with writing, and it adds a lot of chaos to my business.

From a strategic standpoint — and a values-aligned place — coaching is where it’s at for me. But starting to say no to writing work in favor of doing more marketing for my coaching programs is scary! When I take action to move toward the balance of work that feels in alignment for me right now, I’m left standing between what’s comfortable (bringing in revenue from product reviews and content marketing) and what’s uncomfortable (providing for my family with my teaching and coaching work.) And y’all: That in-between suckssssss. The in-between is where I find my brain spiraling into worry, rumination and scarcity. It’s where I freak out about pricing, worry about where my revenue is coming from 3 months from now, and panic about paying contractors.

But on the other side of that in-between is what I most want: To spend my time helping people grow sustainable businesses, which will give me more time with my family.

In short: If I’m going to get what I want, I need to stay in that in-between. I need to be able to handle discomfort for a longer period of time. (My therapist calls this “growing your window of tolerance” and swears it’s the absolute game-changer for managing anxiety. I know she’s right.)

I once heard a favorite coach of mine say that when we’re standing in that in-between, swimming in discomfort, we need medicine. She didn’t mean literal prescription medication — although that is, of course, one option for managing anxiety. She meant that we each need tools in our toolkit to keep us stable when we feel like we just can’t sit in this squirmy discomfort one second longer.

My default, in these times, is to bury myself in work, scroll Instagram endlessly, and eat more sugar than my body likes. (I call these “easy buttons,” a term I got from Glennon Doyle.) But the medicine that actually makes me feel better is walking outside every day, making sure I get exercise nearly every day, sleeping for 8 hours, cuddling my children, spending time hiking with my husband, and reading fiction books. It’s meal prepping food so I’m actually full (because hypoglycemia definitely makes that in-between anxiety feel 1000% worse), drinking a lot of water, and taking my supplements.

My medicine for the in-between is movement, nature and nutrition.

• What’s your medicine for the in-between?

• What tools do you keep in your toolkit for those uncomfortable times?

I often picture these times as me standing still on a sheet of ice, taking deep breaths as the surface shifts beneath me. Once the shifting stops, I’m still standing — but only if I’ve been using everything in my backpack to keep myself fed and warm. Then I can step off that sheet of ice and into whatever the next season is offering me.

If you’re in that threshold place: I see you. And I can’t wait to find out where we’re headed next as we bravely hang in there, between what we’ve known and what we hope for.

Jenni

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This month, my membership program for freelancers, SUSTAIN, is focused on building an authentic brand. We have *so* many dope sessions, resources and guest speakers lined up. If you need a website refresh and want to be able to talk about yourself without feeling cringey, this one’s for you.

Curious about my background? I’m a writer and business coach based in Central Oregon. I have two small children and I work part-time so I can spend a lot of time with them. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with non-linear business building and teaching people how to build successful businesses that support their human needs first. Check out my coaching offerings here, follow me on Twitter & Instagram, or download my free business plan for creatives!