On allowing motherhood into my professional persona

Why I want you to see my *whole* life on social media

Mindset Mastery is a weekly newsletter about the psychology of self-employment from Jenni Gritters. If you’d like to support my work, I invite you to become a paid subscriber for $5/ month! Paid subscribers receive monthly journaling prompts, along with other perks.

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About two months ago, my virtual assistants set up a business-focused Instagram account for me. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while: As I become more of a known entity online — for better or for worse — I’ve wondered if I should adapt my content to orient it toward my business coaching offerings. (Currently, my Instagram is mostly focused on parenting, hiking and gardening, and I share business coaching tips for self-employed folks on Twitter.)

So when they proposed building a new Instagram as part of my marketing plan, I said yes. Why not? I was stoked! And it was an incredible start: They created beautiful content for me. The grid looked cohesive. Initially, I got a HUGE kick of confidence from even just looking at the page.

It’s me! I’m a professional! I gasped to my husband. (Isn’t it wild how even when we’ve “made it” to a certain extent, we still don’t feel like professionals?)

Then, a few weeks later, I started to feel confused about how to divide my life on Instagram between the personal and professional. I’d sit down and attempt to create new Instagram stories; I knew I should be posting business-related tips on my business Instagram. I should push my upcoming coaching programs and promote my newsletters — like this one! But instead, I felt more comfortable sharing these tips on my personal account between photos of my kids and taking you along on my hilarious saga of hauling tons of mulch.

Did you see it? Did you notice it? It’s that dirty little word: Should. Should, should, should.

When “should” shows up, it’s always worth investigating. As I always say to my clients, “should” is “could” with shame attached. It’s indicative of an obligation that comes from other people’s expectations.

I sat down with my husband — who is also now my business partner— and asked him for his thoughts on how “professional” I needed to be. Was it acceptable to tell my audience about my personal life while also giving them coaching advice? Would people think this mix of content made sense, or would it drive people away from my account? Did the people who wanted coaching also want to hear about my kids, my hobbies and my mental health?

From the bottom of my gut I knew my answer was: YES. But still, “standard” marketing wisdom says I shouldn’t mix the two. Thankfully, my husband (and my VA team) gave me permission to do what felt right to me.

So here’s my new social media strategy:

I’m choosing a third way. I’m saying no to standard “professionalism” and yes to you seeing my life as one that includes work, play, adventure, parenting, deep thinking, coaching and so much more.

I’m merging my two accounts back under my personal username: @jennigritters. My VAs will continue to build incredible graphics so I can teach you about self-employment and business ownership. And yes, my account may start looking a bit more “professional.” That way, prospective coaching clients can see what I have to offer if they visit my page. BUT, I’ll also continue to share about my life, parenting, gardening, relationships, travel, mental health and beyond.

When I coach, I bring my motherhood into the room every single time. Why wouldn’t I bring it into my “professional” profiles, too?

I know the answer to that question: Bringing parenthood into the workplace feels risky. Motherhood, to me, is about approaching the world with empathy and understanding. It’s staying even-keel in the face of chaos, listening closely, allowing people to have all kinds of emotions, and being present. It’s being a safe space with kind, clear boundaries. Truthfully, I am at my very best when I am a mother; it’s a role I didn’t think I’d fit into well, but it’s changed my life and it’s changed my approach to work.

Before I became a mother, my approach to work was entirely focused on hustle and proving myself. Now, I’m more interested in sustainability and taking a values-driven approach so I can feel good in my body and stay present with the people around me.

Before I became a mother, I had no personal experiences with trauma, excessive burn-out or having to co-regulate with another human being. While I wouldn’t choose what I’ve experienced over the past 4 years (PTSD, a child in the NICU, pandemic parenting, 2 years of living with hyperemesis gravidarum, and so much more), I now have a deep empathy and understanding about how work fits into our lives, and how life takes precedence — often forced precedence — over our work, time and time again.

Before I became a mother, my work was about me. Now, my work is about serving, impact and caring for my family.

(Just to say it: I am not claiming here that everyone should become a parent. There are many ways to move into a different work paradigm, learn about yourself and approach things in a new way without parenting. That’s a whole other newsletter.)

But why wouldn’t I include all of that goodness in my professional persona? Why wouldn’t I bring these perspectives to my coaching room? To eliminate them almost feels like lying; my kids dictate so much of how I spend my time these days. And if you’re coming to me for coaching, you know that! My life experiences — now, and in the past — dictate what I teach. I am learning and growing in my own life, then passing that along.

Perhaps some people will find this visual combination of work and real life to be unappealing when they see it on my Instagram account. In fact, I know this is likely, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Why? Because I also know that most people who are living with mental health conditions or physical health conditions or complicated lives must keep those parts of ourselves under wraps. It’s always, historically, been safer to hide. This Instagram decision is me saying: BS. I am a human before I’m a worker.

If you want to check out my new/ old merged Instagram account, I hope you’ll do so. Come for the photos of me hauling mulch and my daughter covered in a green smoothie. Stay for sharp, practical, grounding insights on building a business that serves you — the real you — every day.

Cheers,

Jenni

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Curious about my background? I’m a writer and business coach based in Central Oregon. I have two small children and I work part-time so I can spend a lot of time with them. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with non-linear business building and teaching people how to build successful businesses that support their human needs first. Check out my coaching offerings here and follow me on Twitter & Instagram!