The outcome is not guaranteed
What a beautiful, brutal truth
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Before this year, I’d been working in one way for a long, long time. In a way that will probably sound familiar to you, a way that involves a lot of hustle and fear.
When I started my freelance writing business in 2018, I learned pretty quickly how the system worked: I needed to send the “right” kind of outreach email or pitch, and that would help me make contact with a potential client. If I was lucky enough to land a phone call or a one-off assignment, I would hope that the relationship turned into long-term work. I had to stay vigilant and closely track the work I had coming in to make sure I would hit my monthly numbers. I was constantly pitching, constantly opening up my “how much am I going to make this month” project spreadsheet.
Truthfully, I didn’t realize how scarce this mentality was until recently, when the patterns of my writing business started showing up in other parts of my life. The truth is that this former paradigm of fear — and throwing myself into a “panic hustle” the moment I see a financial gap while working the transactional nature of those relationships — has stopped working for me now that I’ve stepped into the world of coaching.
As a coach, my marketing looks — and feels — very different from that of a freelance writer, especially as I aim for authenticity and abundance. I cannot simply send a “right” email and fill up a workshop. I cannot in good conscious use a lot of the tactics (like aggressive email funnels, stadium-style online courses or constant sales) that are peddled to coaches, because I’m interested in building something sustainable and long-lasting — because I care about people more than I care about purchases. In coaching, transactional exchanges feel gross. I want relationships full of connection.
And here’s the hard truth I’ve had to grapple with: A softer, relationship-driven marketing approach — a third way approach — doesn’t allow me to muscle things into a state of control. Rather, this approach requires hope, trust and a belief that acting in integrity will ultimately work out. This approach asks me to lean into slow growth by building relationships with folks who will likely become clients for years to come — but that kind of outreach doesn’t typically yield immediate results.
My coach said to me, earlier this year: “Jenni, the outcome here is not guaranteed.”
I hated it, truthfully. All I wanted was a guarantee. All I wanted was for someone to give me a formula for success that I could plug in and make work. All I wanted was a button to push, a way to muscle success into being.
But I cannot have that if I also want to prioritize humanity. Control, as we all know, is an illusion. And relationships are not linear.
I have long thought that my writing business was “safer” than my coaching business. And lately, I’ve realized how untrue that is. It felt safe to me because I knew how to bury myself in work when I was scared. It felt safe to me because I knew how to force assignments to come my way. It was safe because it was familiar. But it was not safe with a capital S. Media is so much less safe than working in a service-based role as a coach. Media is a dumpster fire.
The truth that I’ve learned is this: When you start your own business, nothing is guaranteed. When you launch a new offer, nothing is guaranteed. When you agree to love someone, nothing is guaranteed.
Maybe no one will show up. Maybe everyone will show up. Maybe someone will leave you. Maybe someone will stay forever.
There are many ways to refine your mission, your business, your branding, your services, and your offer menu. All of these things increase your likelihood of a good outcome, for sure. But there is no guarantee — not in business, not in life.
And yet, I also keep thinking that the most beautiful things we do in life are the ones without a guarantee. Having children is a huge risk. What if something happens to them? Deeply loving my husband is a huge risk. What if he dies? And yet, I experience bliss with these three people more often than I do in any other area of life.
The more we step out, the more we say yes, the better it gets, the more deeply we love, the more invested we are, the bigger the risk.
We cannot have one without the other.
The outcome is not guaranteed.
And this is what I keep thinking about when my clients say: Can you just explain how this is supposed to work? In other words: Can you just show me the rules? Can you just guide me toward some kind of path?
What I want you to know is that there is a silver lining here, though. When the outcome is not guaranteed, the possibilities are endless. When there is no set path, there is space for YOUR path.
When I sit and think about this tough truth, I think about how much hope and bravery it requires for us to step into the missions we have for the world and embrace them while knowing that we cannot guarantee an outcome but showing up anyway. It is the most beautiful love story I can imagine. It’s where we are most human, most alive, as we walk the path of the hero along uncertain terrain.
The outcome is not guaranteed: What beautiful permission to lean into hope instead of fear, to let ourselves finally rest after years of muscling through what was never assured anyway so we can choose what we really want, safety be damned.
What brutality, what magic, all in one breath.
xo,
Jenni
Curious about my background? I’m a writer and business coach living in Central Oregon. My goal is to teach everyone who will listen that it’s possible to build a simple, stable, successful business that support your human needs first. Join my group coaching program, SUSTAIN, for more conversations like this (and a community of people who are all about the path less taken), and follow me on Twitter & Instagram.