What I'm learning lately
Unpolished and true
The Sustainable Solopreneur is a weekly newsletter about seasonal, cyclical, supportive business strategy for solopreneurs and creative souls who want more out of life than the status quo, hosted by business coach and strategist Jenni Gritters. If you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while and you receive value from it, I’d encourage you to sign up for a paid subscription.
Are you looking for a better way to manage your freelance business? My pals at Harlow are offering a crazy deal this month. You can access their all-in-one freelance management platform for only $10/month for a full year! Use code HARLOW10 when purchasing the solo plan to lock in the offer. (This isn’t sponsored, nor do I get a kick-back. I just love that crew and think their tools are amazing.)
You may have noticed that I’ve been a bit quiet about my own business here on Mindset Mastery in recent weeks. While sometimes the words pour out of me, in other moments, they slow down. I’ve been in one of those phases, deep in thought but also pulled along by the current of my fast-moving life as a parent of little ones. I’ve been elbow-deep in marketing experiments and supporting my clients through launches. We had visitors in town. We got sick.
And truthfully, my relationship to my business has felt a bit odd lately, in a way that I’m not sure how to describe because I’m not yet out of the fog that is winter. But this is what I’m learning along the way, as I slowly walk through the fog with my headlamp casting a glow.
I have, recently, been struck by the abundance of riches that is physical and mental health, and by how unmoored I feel in my work when I’m dealing with undiagnosable symptoms. I’ve been muddling through some hormone-related weirdness post-kids and am reminded by how tough it is to show up every day to your work, not quite knowing what you’ll get. To all of you managing chronic conditions: I see you.
I am also struck by how deeply my business is tied to my energy. I’m amazed that no one is screaming from the rooftops about how our hormones change the kinds of work we want to do, week-over-week. (I’m offering a free workshop about it on the 25th because I’m obsessed with cyclical business right now.) I keep looking around the world at “standard” business advice and thinking: That doesn’t work for me, then realizing that of course it doesn’t, because this world wasn’t built for a working woman with two children. I am reminded that every time I talk about building a business that works for me, in this body, in this version of my life, I am (somehow, still) leading a revolution.
I spent this month gathering threads of research to teach to my SUSTAINers during productivity month, and I mostly wanted to kick all the walls they’ve put around us to try to turn us into the most productive versions of humans, near-robot, to support our capitalistic society. Where’s the room to wander, to dream, to putz around the house and indulge in little joys? Those little joys, to me, make a good life. If we become hyper-scheduled, time blocking champions, we miss it all: The inhales, the exhales, the slow naps, the warm sun, the stretchy ebb of late afternoon.
I read so many articles from Very Important People about all the ways we “should” overcome our humanity by pressing work into the unoccupied corners of our lives and I thought: But what if these “unproductive” ways of being are what make us human? What if margin and slowness and meandering and too many drafts and doing dishes while avoiding a spreadsheet is normal? Why are we all sitting here thinking something is wrong with us, when maybe it’s just that we’re being kept from what’s right?
I also find myself thinking often about this right sized business I’m in possession of, and how long I’ve spent dreaming about it. On the day I wrote this, I worked for two hours between doctor’s appointments, exercising and kid pick-up. In my SUSTAIN program, we officially have 70 active members. The world would have me believe that I should grow the program, work more hours, be frustrated at the ways my kids’ needs take me away from my computer. And yet, it feels so good in my body to have a business that pays our bills and doesn’t bury me. I am finally in right relationship with my work. And I don’t really want it to grow, not right now. I don’t really need 100 more clients. I just need a few good people to support what I’m doing. I’m happy to hit our income goals and not surpass them, because this is a beautiful life and I’m present for it. I don’t need more. This is enough.
I threw a paper into the fire last week with all the old journalism norms I needed to release. Although I’ll continue to do a bit of product review work, and am currently working on a reported essay that makes my heart sing, that piece of my identity is, I think, close to being gone. I’m a writer, now. A teacher. A storyteller. I shivered as I watched the paper burn, along with the shame I long felt for not being able to fit into that mold. I kept one foot in that world, even telling people at parties that I was a journalist, for so much longer than I needed to, mostly because it helped me feel like I Belonged to something. Now, I think, I belong to myself.
My dreams are expanding. We’re living a life I once dreamed of, with both of us working from home, in a house in the woods, with two healthy children. We live in the mountains with a wonderful community of friends. We can afford groceries, health insurance and vet bills. 5 years ago, this was my Big Vision. This month I realized: It’s time for a new one. A vision of a property where we can host guests for business retreats; a magical hideaway in the woods with a cold plunge pool, a hot sauna, a skylight in a cabin and a deep sense of peace. A vision of a regenerative way of living. A vision of travel with the kids. A new dream of a content agency that supports us while we build membership programs and newsletters and anything else that sparks our interest. How cool to have gotten “there” and realize that there’s always so much more to dream into. It (somehow) gets to be even better.
This list of thoughts is random, I know. And yet, it’s all a thread of where I’m wandering toward: Out of the fog of winter, out of five months of intensive inner work and navigating a marriage that is growing and expanding in exciting and new and challenging ways alongside a business that is evolving with us and two kids who no longer fit into their pants because they’re growing so fast and a body that’s dealing with various health issues… into spring. The flowers are starting to peek out of the frozen ground here in Oregon. I can feel the creep of clarity, of momentum, of that sunshine warming my skin during afternoon walks. The snow in my yard is beginning to melt.
Seasons change, and so do we, and so does the way we express ourselves through our work, as inevitable as the sun’s rise and set.
May you be brave enough to let it evolve,
Jenni
Curious about my background? I’m a writer and business coach based in Central Oregon. I have two small children and I work part-time so I can spend a lot of time with them. I’m obsessed with teaching people how to build successful businesses that support their human needs first. Check out my coaching offerings here, and follow me on Twitter & Instagram.
A few weeks ago, I got to be a guest on Melanie Padgett Powers’ podcast, The Deliberate Freelancer. Listen in to the episode to hear about all the ways my business is evolving, including our new agency, what it’s like to support a family of four with freelancing, and why my coaching revenue still feels unpredictable at times.