Why authenticity is attractive
We love watching things that feel real. Why?
Mindset Mastery is a weekly newsletter about the psychology of self-employment from Jenni Gritters. If you’d like to support my work, please become a paid subscriber for $5/ month!
In December, my membership program for freelancers, SUSTAIN, is focused on building passive or value-based revenue streams (meaning, something you design once and offer over and over again). SUSTAIN members also get access to a complementary end-of-year business audit workshop in December, and we’ll hear from passive revenue pro Damon Brown. Come hang out with us? We’d love to have you!
Hey team,
Today I want to talk about posting real things online. In the past few months, I’ve noticed that the more honest I am about my life and business on social media, in my newsletters and in person, the more people hire me for writing and coaching work.
Obviously we all like things that feel honest. Humans are absolutely obsessed with great stories. But recently, as I was teaching branding to my SUSTAINers, I started to wonder if science could explain why we like authenticity.
When something is authentic, it’s defined as being “genuine or undisputed in origin.” Authentic claims are trustworthy. When you’re authentic, you say what you mean. You show your cards. There are no games.
Authenticity isn’t the same things as vulnerability. When I teach people to be authentic online or at a conference, I’m not asking them to share their inner-most secrets. (I don’t believe in selling your secrets in personal essays or marketing! Keep some things for just you!) But I am suggesting that they stand behind their authentic beliefs, that they remove their masks and show up as themselves.
Why? Because authenticity feels good. Authenticity connects us with other people. AND, authenticity is a great business practice. It sells.
Here’s the science: We are still animals, at our core. Authenticity is the key to developing trust. When someone is honest with us, we love it because we feel safe. When we were being chased by predators 50,000 years ago, trust kept us alive. When we could trust someone else, we were able to let down our guard and rest. We felt like we were part of the pack.
While we may not be running from rhinos anymore, we all deeply crave trust and belonging. Seeing someone who is honest and authentic inspires those feelings of safety and rest. It is one of our deepest human yearnings. We want to spend time with those people.
It’s why transparency tends to grow businesses faster than polished marketing strategies.
It’s why we love reality TV.
Last month in SUSTAIN, I asked members to join me for a 45-minute copy write-along (which you can always get access to in the membership library, if you join the crew). During that time, we all answered dozens of prompts about our stories, our work, and our hopes. We wrote honestly, without editing. At the end, we talked about how to share the words we’d written. We discussed putting them on our websites, on social media, and sharing them with friends.
A few folks said: It terrifies me to imagine saying this in public.
Of course it does! Being ourselves in public, with all the realness that entails, feels risky. Especially if you’ve spent time working in a corporate setting, you may feel obligated to act “professional.” And yet, we all know that fake feeling you get from sitting with someone who’s pretending. It doesn’t feel good. It triggers our survival systems because we don’t feel safe. We want to get away from that energy.
I’m not suggesting that you bare every detail of your personal life to your clients, or your LinkedIn followers. But I am suggesting picking a few truthful nuggets to add to your website and your social media profile. I’m suggesting sending an end-of-year email to your clients with an honest assessment of what you’ve loved about working with them. I’m suggesting living in integrity – meaning, your outsides match what you care about on the insides.
Authenticity is the best branding strategy I know.
And: Being seen is scary, but it also feels really good because it allows for connection. It allows us to build trust and feel safe.
What else is there, really?
Jenni
Curious about my background? I’m a writer and business coach based in Central Oregon. I have two small children and I work part-time so I can spend a lot of time with them. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with non-linear business building and teaching people how to build successful businesses that support their human needs first. Check out my coaching offerings here, follow me on Twitter & Instagram, or download my new limited release podcast about designing a reduced-hour workweek.