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L'Oreal Thompson Payton's avatar

All in favor of squishy boundaries, especially working a 9-5, raising a toddler and prepping for the release of my first book (and all the promo that goes into that)! Granting myself flexibility has been a game changer 🙌🏾

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Mike De Socio's avatar

Wow, Jenni, this resonated with me SO much: "To me, freedom looks like being able to hold my boundaries and being able to step out of them momentarily, with flexibility, when it serves me. I don’t do well with rigidity."

I learned this lesson the hard way on a recent vacation. I was vigilant (as I often am) about not checking email for the whole 10 days I was away. Then I returned to find out that I had missed a really big, dream opportunity because I didn't see/respond to someone in time. Looking back, I wish I gave myself the flexibility to at least peak at my email, maybe once at the halfway point of the trip, to check for this message and reply quickly.

I also really love what you said about how sometimes NOT checking can cause more anxiety. SAME! I think there are moments when a quick email scan can settle my nerves and allow me to relax more, because it takes away the unknown.

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Jenni Gritters's avatar

YES, this feels so right to me -- like, what lowers my stress will change in each moment. Being flexible helps me feel more leisurely on vacation too, I think. I've also been thinking a lot about how vigilance means "keeping careful watch for possible danger or difficulties." And maybe I want to be a little more relaxed than that. Vigilance implies that people are out to get me! And I don't think they are, at least not very often. If I can feel safe in my own body, in my own system, then I don't *need* to set these rigid, brick wall boundaries. Love that you're on this journey with me!! <3

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Mike De Socio's avatar

Yes! Great point about "vigilance," too. I think maybe my boundaries around email and vacation were more strict when I first started freelancing because I didn't feel nearly as grounded, and I felt like I really needed to be "careful" about everything (very much a slippery-slope mentality). I have a lot more confidence now, which I think warrants more flexibility, too!

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